Wednesday 10 June 2015

You're Leaving Us?

You're Leaving Us?

Her big brown eyes locked my eyes. 
"Is it true, you're leaving us?".

The whole room grew silent and stopped. 

"I was away a couple of days and some of the other kids told me. You're leaving us. Is it true?".

The quiet pause of anticipation from the students gripped at my heart strings. I could feel a lump forming in my throat. This was the moment that I had anticipated and now dreaded.

Yes. Yes I am.

"Was it your choice?"

The question punched me right in the gut. Her question hung in the air for a moment. How do I say it? How do I admit that it was my choice? The opportunity presented itself and I took it. How do I tell her that I needed a change with out hurting her? How do I explain to students who have had so many walk out in their lives that I was now leaving. 

I walked down the hallway later and looked at all the pictures of the graduating classes. I looked at each of the admins that have left, but most importantly I looked at intermediate teacher. I saw my own smiling face looking back at me. I will have the most amount of graduating classes on the wall this year. (Counting the one year that is not my face but the LTO while I was away on mat. leave)




 "Yes, it was my choice."


"WHY?"

Time froze. 
Word this carefully now.
How do I say it? 

"I am ready for a change. Just as you are about to graduate and head off into high school, I am continuing my learning too. If I stay in one building for too long, I might get stuck in a rut. That is one of the reasons why you have high school and elementary. There comes a time when you need to move on to grow, to learn and to change. I am at a place that I want to continue to learn."

She smiled at me. The class began a buzz of discussing high school now. My leaving the school just a blip on their teenaged mind's radar. 

It is true. 
I am leaving to a new school. 

I have been quiet about it but now it is out there. In the community, in our school newsletter and now in my classroom. The journey to get here was a tough decision. My last staff meeting, my eyes fell upon each colleague. I knew these people, their families, their teaching style and we are a team. I truly am going to miss working with this fine group of people who in return know me, my personal tales and my sense of humour. 

I still have mixed emotions but I know in my heart that I am making the right decision for me. 
It is not on to bigger and better things, it is on to a new place to learn, change, and grow as a teacher. 

Cheers to new beginnings and new learning!




8 comments:

  1. Congratulations on welcoming new challenges and adventures! All the wonderful (and crazy!) experiences you had at this school helped you to become the person who will succeed with whatever the new school year throws at you. Good luck!! :)

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  2. Congratulations on your new teaching adventure. I loved the way you handled your student's question. You placed your decision in a context they could understand and celebrate. Looking forward to hearing about your new school. I am moving to grade 5 next year at my school and am excited about the new learning that will take place.

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  3. Having moved from my middle school of seven years to high school last fall, I have some understanding of what you are going through. I want to share that there were times that first semester in the new school where I thought I had made a mistake. Gone were the colleagues I knew, the family I had found a place in, the familiar. It was hard and my learning curve was huge. I felt out of place and ... new.  

    Now my first year in my new school is all but in the books and I am loving it. New relationships have been forged; new teaching activities have been incorporated; new doors have opened. In fact, opportunities have come my way that would never have come if I stayed in the safety of the familiar. 

    So this is just a reminder that it's not easy making a change; but often that which you risk in not changing is greater than what you risk in changing. I wish you blessings in this new adventure.

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  4. Congratulations Maria! I know exactly what you're thinking and feeling. This was me last year. I also think it takes time to get used to the new environment, no matter how much you may know in your heart that it's the right decision. But enjoy the new opportunities, the new learning, and the new connections. It will surely be a wonderful year!

    Aviva

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  5. I like things the same. All the time. I have a hard time with change. But I applaud anyone who takes that leap to start fresh. I will pray for your new path, Maria.

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  6. I am changing schools after 8 years of being at "my" school. But, I will soon be making a new "my" school. I am not sure what your exact reasons were, but I chose to move schools because my old school is 20 minutes away from me, and the new school is 3 minutes away. I found that the hardest part for me was not the ending staff meeting, but the saying "yes" to accept the position from the board office and then going to school the next day knowing that I was leaving. Thanks for post!

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